Tonight’s contest is “Hawaiian.” My first response was “loud shirt, baggy shorts, and a camera” because, to me, nothing says “Hawaii” more than a bad tourist. Second is the hula. Third is surfer and way, way down on the list is — Polynesian Warrior?!


Ok, so probably not the first thing that crosses your mind when you’re considering the Big Island, but I’m not much of a hula dancer, and I’m not crazy about the grass skirts I’ve seen so this is actually not a bad choice.


After all the work I did to so little effect with Johnny Cash, this one was a bit of an anti-climax. There are three main parts — the outfit, the tattoos, and the haka.

The outfit and tattoos came from the same place and just goes to show what you can do with a few lindens. What I didn’t spend in time, I more than made up with in cash. Along with the outfit, I got a “public domain” haka. The haka is a ritual challenge issued by Polynesian warriors there are several styles of haka and the practice has gained a certain modern notoriety because of the New Zealand rugby team – The All Blacks – who challenge their opponents before each match.

The big decision with this contest was whether or not to use the haka. I’ve created a specialized AO that plays the animations (two of them) and five sound clips to give a full performance — but after Friday’s issue with performance, I didn’t really know what the right course was. In my mind, this outfit isn’t complete without the dance and the dance looks kinda odd without the chant.

And walking out on stage just doing a buncha model poses seems a bit disrepectful.

In the end, I picked a middle course. I picked one of the two animations from the haka routine, and put it in as a pose, but not at the front. I reserved the front for the requisite “show your butt to the judge” moves. The result was a shocker.


First Place!

This is one of those in-explicable nights but instead of wondering why I didn’t place, I can’t figure out why I took first. On my scale of creativity, this was the least creative effort I’ve put forth since the first day I walked onto the stage. The feedback from the judge was very positive, and I have no idea why.

What would I do different?

It’s kind of difficult to second guess a winning performance but given that I don’t think this was my best performance, I do think there’s room for improvment.

Poses. The standard model set just were unsatisfactory. They were incongruous to me, like doing karate in a business suit. I really would have liked to have some “warrior” poses.

Oil. I have that Nyokos oil but the core is a blue latex thong. That thong peeked out of the breech clout at the hips so I couldn’t get all oiled up and gleaming. The tatts looked better when I had a sheen, but I didn’t think of it until too late. I should go to Nyokos now before I forget again.

So tonight, I got my two votes, a trophy, and the cash. This also means I have one more entry in the bonus round next Thursday night when I’ll get 500L and 50 votes added to my pageant entry for every outfit I can get onto the stage. I’m not in the big money round with only four placements, but I’m doing pretty well for a newcomer and a guy.

Outfit: Tiki Tattoo-Pacific Dancer
Tattoos: Tiki Tattoo – UPOLU

Skin: Belleza – Thomas Tan 1
Hair: Uw.St Ilias-Hair type-A size-LL
Eyes: E’s for Eyes – Gleeming – Dark Brown


About Roland

I'm just an oversized avatar in a silly virtual world.

Posted on March 31, 2009, in Contests. Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. ka makana kaulana o ke ao nei

    okay so first of all a hawaiian malo is not made of ti leaf it is made out of kapa
    the tatau on his body are not hawaiian and the hawaiians did not do the haka
    haka is a maori dance form
    hawaiian warriors da a ha’a
    please do some research before you start embarrasing my culture

  2. Thank you for those corrections.

    I actually knew about the haka being Maori.

    The point of the exercise was really not to be authentic. And, if you’ll note, I never claimed to be anything but a Polynesian Warrior.

    Frankly, I doubt that any of the judges in our contest could tell a ti leaf from a tea bag, but I do apologize if my use of readily available materials on the grid offended you or yours.

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